so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Randomize
