VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
