Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
