guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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