things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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