I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Randomize
