Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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