hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
