Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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