I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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