Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
