Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
