Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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