It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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