im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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