Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
