id be glad to
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
