I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
