margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
