Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
