Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
