I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
