Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Randomize
