Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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