i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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