i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Four minutes until I can fart!
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize