I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
