I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
