Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
