What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
