I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
