bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Go christen that room with your naked body.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
