Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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