Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
