fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
