I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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