I look better un-naked...
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize