Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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