I seem to have left my pride at pride
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
