Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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