It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
