The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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