well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
