So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
