I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
