i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
