Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
