We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
