Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
