She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
