just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
