btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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