yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
