super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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