What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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