any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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