Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
