She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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