im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize