she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
