I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
