Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(757): View more from Virginia

Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT

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(512): View more from Texas

dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.

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(318): View more from Louisiana

When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"

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(209): View more from California

I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto

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(360): View more from Washington

Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."

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