I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
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