Who wears a wallet chain?!
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
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