hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
youre lurking in front of me
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
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