why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
