I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
