guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
