Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
