we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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