My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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