sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
