i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
