South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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