Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize